When I first started dating my husband (Pete) 8 years ago, I knew that we would not likely be able to have children together. Pete had a vasectomy after the birth of his second child, and although they can be reversed, we didn’t think we would ever have the financial means to do it. I had accepted this, and had hoped that we could possibly grow our family by other means at a later date.
In December 2012, Pete selflessly donated one of his kidneys to a friend of ours. I wish I could say that it was a beautiful experience. Pete developed complications which resulted in a huge bleed in his abdomen and as a result, had to have major surgery twice in less than a 24hr period. It was awful. The 5 days spent in ICU, another 5 days in the hospital, and a few years recovery from the emotional wounds of the entire experience was traumatizing for us both. The positives are that Pete is now a case study at the UW, and as a result, the surgical protocol for living donors has now been changed. Ultimately, it changed our relationship for the better, and Pete’s friend has not had a rejection of the kidney.
Pete received a financial gift from a family friend of the recipient, to thank him for the gift he gave. I was surprised and touched that Pete wanted to look at a vasectomy reversal! Six months after his horrific experience, he went under the knife again and doctors were able to successfully reverse the vasectomy. Tests confirmed that viable sperm were present, and that the chances of us naturally conceiving were fairly decent. We were so excited it worked!
Needless to say, I have a very wonderful partner who was willing to go thru the trauma of surgery again, just to give us a chance at having our own children. Whenever I am pissed at him for whatever petty reason, I try to practice some gratitude about what he did for us…for me. Hard to stay mad at a guy who had his balls operated on…voluntarily.
And so, after we married in June 2014, we began the conscious effort to conceive.
I had known others who had successfully conceived after a reversal, so I was hopeful.
I had no idea what we would go through over the next five years.
This blog is meant to document our journey, all the extreme lows and the amazing moments of hope. I hope someone can read this, and feel some comfort in knowing they are not alone. If I have learned one thing in this journey, it has been how isolating it can feel at times.
More to come…